Squad Commander 'Beast'

Name: While his name is unknown by all living people it is Takeshi

Age: 36

Group: While originally a rogue from outside the walls he became an official feather of the Wings of Freedom ten years before

Rank/Profession: Squad Commander. His impeccable skills with ODM gear and impressive leading skills got him here. Hard work will always be rewarded.

Appearance: He's above the average height standing at five foot eleven inches. This mesomorph weighs just under 200 lbs. He's tanned and his muscle is toned. He has a long head which is balanced with the width, though obscured by his silver sprinkled beard. His messy shoulder-length hair is quite dark, the only hint of his age the streak of silver. His nose is charmingly crooked due to many breaks from his mercenary days. His piercing gray gaze is shrouded by his hood which he almost always keeps up.

Identity: Takeshi is a daring man, though quiet. He likes to take his time with operations. He almost always keeps a cool head, though he can be quite reckless around titans. Especially around the forest in which he grew up. He can often be a bit impulsive, though there are times where he'll think about the impulses. There are times where a short-temper flares in him and there will be almost no arguing with him, unless you want to be at the wrong end of his blade. His anger might flare up if you hit a soft spot related to his past, like asking him if he has kids or a wife. Whenever he sees a kid, he'll donate a bit of money to them. He never thinks about who they are, just how it may impact their life and make it better. That brings me to this, if Takeshi ever sees a titan endangering a child, even if it's an abnormal, he will stop at nothing to kill it and save a child's life. Seeing a titan never engulfs him in fear, but rather gives him that thrill that tends to keep the male going. He tends to be a bit proud of his maneuvering, although he hardly ever brags.

Preferences:

-Likes: He can often be found at bars drinking whiskey or scotch, his two favorite types of alcohol. He loves the feeling he gets when he kills a titan, like he's serving justice.
-Dislikes: He doesn't like how priests go on about how the walls are goddesses and would shove their wines up their asses if he could. He wants to eradicate every last titan on Earth, and hates it when they're living. He can't take injust things like MPs being drunk off their asses and blatantly abusing their power
-Fears: He fears having a family as he's scared that if he does, it will be taken from him again.
-Goal(s): As stated above, he wants every last titan dead because then no more pain would befall the human race. They'd be able to live without fear.

Backstory: He came from a small village near the Forest of Giant Trees that was wiped out before the fall of Wall Maria five years ago. His parents knew he was a strong boy the moment he chopped his first log. You can still see the split stump of the chopping block. At the age of eleven his father took him out for his first day of training, for what however, he didn't know. His father opened the bag which he had been carrying all the way out there and inside were two sets of ODM gear, both old although they weren't rusty. Takeshi's father strapped them both up and then showed him how to stay balanced. His natural balance was perfect and he soon moved up to basic maneuvers. His father also taught him how to outmaneuver a titan using the trees as an advantage. He showed promise. With more training he thought he could be in the Military Police and secure a life on the inside. Then that day came. The day that forever changed his goals. The day the titans attacked. He awoke, sweating and cold from a nightmare, but the smell of cooking venison cleared his thoughts. He ate like normal, although breakfast was unusually quiet without his father, who was told to go hunt according to his mother. He was skeptical about this, and being curious he ventured out in search of him on his family's mare, Falada. What he found, it changed him. He found titans and with titans, death. His father was one of the few humans remaining. The hunting tower collapsed, fallen to a 4m titan, and he saw the body of Charles, his father, go flying. He delved deep into a rage and took the ax that had landed nearby and shot his tethers into the tree closest the monster. He shot off Falada and swung the ax deep into the titan's nape, landing on the tree. The motion had given him a rush. Killing a titan had made him feel good. That's when his new goal was put in place. Kill all titans. Every last one. Until then he had lived in Trost as a hired gun, killing for money. Then he met Maria. She was the person he was meant to kill, but despite this, he couldn't bring himself to. He didn't know why. He started a relationship with her, though a bit strained by the military. Training kept them apart for a while. Then, three years and eight months later, she gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She was only two when she died and her mother was only twenty-five. Once again titans had taken his family and that goal burned itself in his mind. Rid the world of every single titan. Make them pay for what they've done to him and people everywhere.


Stats:

Strength: 7
Agility: 11
Intellect: 6

Extra: He has an old rusty set of anti-personnel ODM gear stowed away in the basement of a collapsed home in Trost.

I really like your character backstory wise, it is certainly an interesting one and I would really like to see my char roleplay with yours (given it's the opposite for her, first military then rogue).
There are however a few things that you still have to change/add.
Could you please write more in 'identity'? We usually want atleast 200 words written here and you are over a 100 short. If you don't know what to write you could write what Takeshi is good at, or how he reacts to certain stuff (for example conflict or someone asking him about his past, or if he sees a kid, given he had one). Feel free to ask again if you don't know.
In the backstory you could still add when he joined the military, which would add another 50 words to the backstory.

In the stats territory you have to cut down on the points your char has right now. The official amount we allow is at 22 points. We do allow you to add a few more points but that has to be sufficiently and thoroughly explained. You are currently at over 30.

I hope I did not discourage you! But seeing how you write stuff in general I am sure it will not be a problem for you to add more.