The Funeral of Adar vi Rauco

Wind blew.

The fog that had formed didn't seem to mind it. It has been there since early morning, and while not very dense (since you could easily see 20-30 metres around), it was damned determined about the fact it had to be there.

Wind blew again.

The fog obviously did not mind this time either. It somehow still was there, even though wind has blown since equally early morning. It probably just loomed over such a large area that even against the wind, there still was plenty of fog to just be blown in the place of the old one. Yes, that was probably it: new fog took place of the old fog, as it passed in the wind.

And talking about passing...


It is now 10:05 AM. At 10:00 exactly, the funeral of Adar, of the vi Rauco family, had begun. The Ex-Captain's death had shocked pretty much every person present, and probably plenty of others, too. It was part of how it was, when your death was this sudden.

After all, there's unlikely to ever be a more sudden death than an attack by a gargantuan titan shifter psychopath in the middle of a party.

In any case, everyone was still gathering now. The funeral had officially began five minutes ago, but only close friends and relatives were there at that time. Even now, few others had joined, and most of those did so out of courtesy, not sadness at the loss. Nothing moved. Nobody dared move yet, with the air looming still so heavy with doubt. So heavy with worry.

For even the mightiest seemingly can fall.


Wind blew.


It is now 10:10. The yard, plain and barren apart from a few trees, was now filling up with people of various relationship to Adar. Many did know him personally, although few liked him. Still, even in death, his authority lingered. Soldiers were guarding the sides, and, on the towering Wall nearby, even more stood ground. Elite of the elite, regardless of branch, comprised these men and women who had the honour to oversee this grim proceeding.

Royalty was at the front of the crowd, while many high-ups of various domains were making up the bulk of what was right behind them. The further you went into the crowd, the more diverse the people became, swiftly veering from one class to another. Merchants with whom Adar had dealings with could be seen. Craftsmen who had helped him in various endeavors were also there. Soldiers who had admired him. And off to the side, soldiers who had fought under him.

The remains of the Hydrargyrum stood secluded from the rest of the people. They wanted to mourn in their own silence, for a captain that meant everything to them. For a teacher that had shown and formed them as both soldiers and as people. They mourned voicelessly for their fallen mentor.


But most of all mourned the family.


Adar's lifeless body was laid out on a large, still unlit pyre, like had the body of his father, and his father's father, and his father's father's father... And near that pyre, knelt a lone woman, clad in a grim black dress. She was not crying. She was not lamenting. She was not speaking.
She was not moving.
Sangwa vi Rauco, Adar's wife and love, simply knelt, looking more dead than the corpse itself. Her eyes were empty, and merely looking at her was enough to make tears come to someone's eyes. Nobody dared approach her. Nobody could stomach the thought and guilt of disturbing her now, for it would have been a more vile and atrocious act than many.



Auth watched all of this from the very side. He was far away from both the pyre, and his mother, and the crowd, sitting lone on a bench. His face was expressionless. Empty, not unlike his mother's. Although his eyes seemed more alive. Whether this made him look better off, or even worse, was something not possible to determine. What was certain was that in his solitude, he somehow did not look part of the funeral. With him, it seemed much deeper, with him mourning deep inside, a personal funeral taking place in his own mind. A dark and grim one, even more so than the one in the realm of the real.

It was now 10:15. He would soon, at 10:30, need to hold a speech in his father's name. His mind knew it full well, and he would do it, but no different than a machine would. Cold, rational, and not a single moment feeling. He was too busy being gathered into himself to have emotions on the outside anymore.

Wind blew.

The old fog passed, and new fog took its place, invisible to the eye.


//OOC: Feel free to add any NPCs to the funeral, but don't advance the proceedings. Instead, I would like to retain the right to move those on. Thank you in advance.

Cora had arrived way before the actual funeral started, it had been quite a way for her and she hated being late, it was alot better to be early than late. Being late meant being lazy. Actually being late meant seeming lazy. Thinking about it, only being late without a valid excuse meant being lazy. Seeming lazy. She sighed.

Are you nervous?

Cora did not want to answer. It is after all damn near impossible to keep your own thoughts away from...your own...thoughts. Or atleast thoughts that are in your head but not your own. She sighed again.

Mhhh...stop being philosophical. It has no use.

Neither did Cora want to answer this time. She grew tired of everyone listening to her and not having any privacy.

Okay. This is getting out of hand. Will you stop narrating your life?
Apart from that...no privacy? We let you have plenty of privacy! We are not looking at you if you are naked!
That's because we rarely have mirrors around and I am in control...you can't look wherever you want?
Yeeeees....but atleast we are not stalking you!
YOU ARE IN MY GODDAMN HEAD! HOW ARE YOU NOT STALKING ME?!

She shook her head. Atleast she had passed this half of an hour. Only fifteen to go. She started walking to where the funeral would hold place. Only a few people were there yet, she did not know anyone (apart from Auth and maybe a few others she was just too dumb to see) and neither did she bring any of her underlings. This was more private for her.

Weird.
That you did like him even though he only spoke a few sentences?
Yes.
Don't tell me you go full mourning because of that.
Are you shitting me?! I? I go in mourning? As if. Seriously...
Don't be offended, remember how you did take it.
I was four! Or something...that does not count!
Mhhhmhhh...suuure it did not.
He did help me! He spoke up for me, I just respect him.
Yeah...
Shut up Nec, you know what she is thinking. Since when are you talking so much though...?
What are you implying?
Maybe you care-

they continued argumenting in her head, Cora stopped listening at some point. Nothing too great would come out of that anyway.
She dazed away and started daydreaming about something, which she did not remember nor realize what it was.
It turned ten. She woke up. There were alot more people now, even more around her. She felt uncomfortable.

Cora walked a bit more to the side, further away from most of the crowd, and in Auth's direction. He was the only one she knew after all. Correction: Realized she knew.

The way Cora watched Sangwa and the rest of the people came close to how she would watch a dog waiting under a tree for a squirrel. With interest. She did not understand either of them. Why did the dog wait for such a long time just to try to catch the squirrel? It had no use to him, he would usually be fed. And even if he did not, there was far easier prey. Maybe it was just fun. Maybe that's why titans ate humans as well.

Apropos titans.

She started watching the crowd again. Why did they mourn? Why was everyone, esspecially his wife, affected this badly? She seemed as if she herself died with her husband.

Cora was utterly confused at their behaviour. She unconciously wrinkled her forehead.
It made no sense. She basically put her own wellbeing this much in danger by...dying...with her husband? She exhaled sharply, as if it would make her understand everything better. It did not.

She did not realize the time passing.

Mitsuo had shown up at exactly 10:05. He was wearing his Survey Corps uniform which he only wears on duty or at special occasions.

He did not know the vi Raucos well but he turned up out of respect. He also turned up because he was at the scene of the death.

Mitsuo stood just off from the gathering crowd, saluting. He had a distant look in his eyes, the look of a many who had many questions and no answers.

On the inside, the young Shimura's heart dropped. Another loss to a Titan, this time it's a man who was well loved and respected.

Something stirred. Was he feeling depressed? Guilty? Mitsuo didn't know - at some points he felt like hit could hit something, other points were things like bursting into tears.

Mitsuo stopped saluting. He stood there, with his distant gaze, watching the widowed Mrs. vi Rauco kneel over the corpse of her husband.

Cora got bored of watching people mourning and trying to figure out their behaviour. It was tedious and did not get her anywhere. Apart from wondering and daydreaming even more.

She looked around, this time observing the people more closely. There was Mitsuo somewhere in the back, Cora really was not too interested in walking such a long way just to talk to him now. Everyone would notice and look at her weirdly.

Why don't we try talking to that mourning woman! That wife...of...
Adar.
I would have known myself! Shut up. Why don't we go talk to her?

Cora shook her head, not really sure if he was really this dumb sometimes or just pretended to be it.

Apart from this totally ridiculous idea to just walk up to some woman, that is obviously in some sort of emotional pain with everyone looking at her...I don't know how to comfort people?
Right. I knew there was some problem.
Yeeees?
What do you mean yes? I mean...you really want to try to comfort her? I would not do that in your place, you are bad at that
My problem is mainly the people, not the comforting.
As if! The people are no problem!

Vex giggled in her mind.

Not after I would go kill them, of course.

She sighed, he was really getting annoying. He, of course, knew that she thought that and just continued.

Cora looked to the bench Auth was sitting on. He was probably mourning as well. But as she saw him as a good guy, she somehow doubted that he felt too much. Apart from that, Vex was really getting on her nerves...so she needed someone real to talk to.

Within a few seconds she was over at his side and stood next to the bench, observing him shortly before she quietly said: "Auth...I am very sorry for what happened. I mean...it's not my fault and everything, but the others said that and-", she stopped herself.

Good job.

"Sorry.", she just ended up saying and sat next to him, "I will shut up now.", she added and slowly increased the distance between the two. Cora simply thought that they were sitting too close together for a funeral. Or in general. The funeral was just an excuse.

She stared at her own feet, waiting for something to happen.

Auth snapped into a more upright position the moment Cora began speaking. He was lost deep within his own thoughts, and hadn't noticed her approaching in the least. As soon as he realized it was actually just Cora, and not god-knows-what-pesky-royal, he calmed right back down.

A soft smile appeared on his face as she finished what she was saying. Somehow, she was sweet in her own, weird way.

"It's all right, Cora. I understand what you're trying to say." He leaned back on the bench, from his earlier slouched posture. It'd do him good to talk to someone. After all, his deep and inner mind was a rather scary place to be in. "And I appreciate it. Really, I do. Sorry if I'm not myself today. It's... hard to be yourself after something like this."

It truly was. It made you actually question who you yourself were, when you yourself would be in his place, and what exactly was happening to him, now that he was dead. And when you've pretty much lived in his shadow your whole life, it made you... free in a way... but much more so exposed. There was no safety net now. All mistakes were to be paid, all screw-ups were to cost. Auth didn't know if he liked it or not.

But he was getting back in his own thoughts. Quickly snapping out of them again, he turned his attention back to Cora.

"You know... I could really use someone to talk to now, if you want to..." He sighed. "You can come closer, by the way."

Alan was woken up by the rays of light poking in through his hospital room's window, the thin curtain lazily draping in the wind.
His eyes slowly opened, and looked down, peering around the room. He was still in his small but comfy hospital room, which was pleasantly lit by the natural light of the morning. Except for a few more empty beds and a small shelf by his own, the room was empty. That is, except for the small wooden clock on the wall, that was pointing at 7:13.
Alan turned his head and covered his head with his blanket. Looks like he awoke from his dreaming nightmares only to return to his living one.
Alas, Alan knew that today was the day he both anticipated and feared, the day Adar was going to be mourned. The funeral was supposed to start in a few hours, and he must start getting ready soon if he wishes to get there in his broken body. However, Alan dreaded the upcoming event. There were going to be too many familiar faces, too many things that remind him of the day of the attack...

The attack on the vi Rauco mansion left Alan in tatters, both physically and psychologically. He had a bullet-wounded ear, shattered femur in his left leg, cuts (Some deep and some small) all over his arms and chest, and was overall beaten-up and wounded all over his body. However, Alan's physical state was not much of distress for him - he knew it would heal, sooner or later. The hospital would take care of him right, and he'd be back to perfect health, despite maybe having a small scar on the top of his ear. No, Alan's despair came from his psyche, his mind.
That night, that dreadful night, he has killed another man for the first time. That night, he watched countless people, innocent and guilty alike get cut down, murdered in horrific fashion. That night, he has seen a titan for the first time - a truly terrifying sight. And above all - that night, he has let everyone down. His captain Volkard, the vi Rauco family, the Hydrargyrum, even his close friend Mitsuo. They relied on him to help, to fight. And what did he do? Think up some crazy plan, that ended up not working. Trying to save the lives of people, only to have them killed in the ongoing terror and battle of the titans. He has failed himself, and everyone. Everyone.

The first few nights, the nightmares were unbearable. Waking up covered in cold sweat, bedwetting, nausea and vomiting were all uncommon.
Alan managed to cope a bit better the last few days, but it mattered not - for when he was awake, he would still be trapped in the horrors of that day, ridiculing himself and berating himself. Hating his weakness, his lack of opportunity. As analytical as his mind was, it felt slow and sluggish ever since that day. He couldn't shake of the despair, the gloom that hovered above his life.
And yet, on this day, he was going to go to the funeral. His injuries or mental state mattered not - he knew he had to be there, for all those who he has failed. It wasn't a way to make up for it, but it was better than nothing.

The nurse entered the room a few minutes after that. She wasn't unkind, but Alan was indifferent to all her help and in general avoided conversation. She offered him a modest but healthy breakfast, and he ate it silently, rarely looking up at her. She sat by his bedside, and said nothing.
She deserves better than to be treated like this Alan knew, but he couldn't help it. He couldn't help himself - how could he possibly support those around him?
After Alan was finished eating, he slowly got up from his sickbed. The nurse helped him undress and helped him put on his military uniform. She made no comment on his nakedness, and Alan was thankful for that, but still said nothing. He just fell deeper into despair, feeling like a broken boy, not even being able to dress by himself.
The nurse brought over to him his crutches - wooden handles that helped him carry the weight of his body. Alan grabbed the crutches and headed out of the room, saying nothing. His eyes, though sad, were determined. He knew he must go, and leave now if he wanted to make it on time.

Alan waddled out of the carriage and through the mist at 10:03. His slow movement has made him arrive only at 10:11, at the place of mourning.
Around he saw many, people of all sorts, of different classes and different careers. Of course, to him stood out Auth and Sangwa, the greatest of the grievers. Alan could only stand the sight of them for a split second before looking away. How was he supposed to look them in the eye now, after failing them so? They trusted him, perhaps more than most at the event, and he has done nothing but waste their gifts and fail at everything. However, his guilt was greater. It was made apparent when he saw, right under Sangwa, the body of the late ex-Military Police commander. His greatest guilt, his greatest shame, came from knowing that when Adar died, when he fought and lost his life to the dreaded titan, Alan felt that it was the right thing to do. That it should have happened. He recalled how he analyzed and realized the titan was only there for Adar, that him running away and using different 'evasion tactics' only cost the lives of more and more people. To Alan, the answer stood clear - he must sacrifice himself. Did he? Alan wasn't sure, he was too far away from the battle when it finally happened. What he did know was that dozens died, including most of the Hydrargyrum. What was he supposed to make of that? Alan respected Adar vi Rauco. No, more than that, he looked up to him, not exactly in a dissimilar way than Auth, his son. Alan was drawn to the late commander's power, to his wisdom and authority, how he made the Military Police a respectable force back in his day, before the days of corruption reared their ugly heads. Alan wished to learn from the man, to follow in his footsteps, to bring glory days to the Military Police as he has. But then again - he felt the man was not without flaws. No crime he could directly point to, but flaws regardless. Why would a shifter want him dead so badly? He did not know, but felt that there might have been a justification. It wasn't a random, angry attack, it was planned out. Adar prepared the Hydrargyrum, he knew of this risk. What has the noble man done to bring such a deadly rival to his doorstep?

It was not for Alan to know. Not yet. He stood silent in the fog, watching the sad picture before him unfold. Alan was tormented emotionally, but not because of the sadness of the funeral, of its great meaning. He was tormented by himself, by his self-loathing, his guilt and his failures.
What a miserable young man, to attend one's funeral and to be more preoccupied with oneself he scolded himself, but to no avail. His voice of reason was too quiet, too weak compared to his despair, his troubles.
Alan's grip on his crutches grew tighter. He wanted the funeral to begin, to be over with. He wanted people to start speaking, so he won't have to think about his despair, even if just for a short bit. He wanted to feel sorrow for the departed, sorrow for his loved ones. He wanted to feel like he still had it in him, after all that has happened, to care for others.

At 10:15, Mitsuo was still standing just away from the crowd. His mind was being swallowed up by his emotions and delving deeper and deeper into dark thoughts.
That was up until a hand was placed on his shoulder, "stop thinking."

Mitsuo turned around, surprised, to see his parents, Arata and Cheryl Shimura, standing there dressed in black formal attire.

"We know how you're acting inside right now," Cheryl spoke softly and with elegance, "it is not good for you or the current situation."

Without any response, Mitsuo walked over to his parents and hugged them. Arata and Cheryl looked at each other before smiling down at their son and hugging him back.

"Don't worry," Mitsuo's father spoke, "we're here."

Cora observed Auth. She did not understand everything he was saying, but she tried to. Why was it hard? Oh right. Because other people will think something bad of you if you don't seem to mourn. Probably. That was most likely what he thought...not even she herself managed to convince her of that. Humans were weird.

She sighed. Realized she did that after him saying something and turned red. "I am so sorry, I was sighing because I got lost in thoughts and it did not get my anywhere...and...I am...", she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, "Now."

Cora opened her eyes again, "Of course I will listen to you! It's not like me talking is going to get us anywhere...", she smiled.

He did say something else...did he not?
Yes. He did.
Dammit...
"You can come closer"
Oh.

While having this short conversation Cora just stared through Auth. Upon realizing he wanted to get her closer her eyes widened and she unintentionally backed a bit up.
"Closer...? Don't worry, I can hear you quite well.", she just ended up saying quickly.

She hoped to not turn red.

Auth looked at Cora as she was gathering her words. And getting red. He chuckled at that sight, of the fearsome, mentally-ill mercenary leader blushing and looking, if he were to be allowed to crime to think this, cute. It really was good to ease his mind. And, in the end, he had already buried Adar in his own mind. Peace with the idea, he didn't make - he probably never would - but the act was done. This funeral was just one more social hassle, for both him and his poor mother. Besides, he had to keep the tears for when the 'moving speech' was to come by. Can't seem too unattached to his father now, could he?

Who would care about how he truly felt about the matter? About how his relationship with his father, while not bad, was not the usual? About how he mourned not a dad, but a mentor, like the Hydrargyrum did? Obviously, nobody important. Or at least, nobody important from an 'official' point of view. All that Auth was now was a tool, expected to on the one hand act like a son in mourning, and on the other, a man that had to comfort a crowd of scared higher-ups about their personal safety. And he'd do it, too. He couldn't have refused. He hated doing it, but there were no two ways about it.

Auth kept passively listening as Cora quickly refused coming closer. He chuckled again. "It's not nice to turn away the offer of someone in mourning, you know..." He took a half-depressed face. Half of it was true, half was a joke. Cora was indeed very good at making you completely forget you had something serious going on.

"Anyway" His face was normal again. Not really depressed, but not happy either. If anything, he just looked mildly sad... and mildly emotionless. Not too much, but just enough to be slightly observable. "I really don't feel like... talking too much. Not now..." Auth tilted his head. "So, how about you just do come closer - I promise I won't bite too hard - and you talk? And I listen?"


//OOC: current posting order: Herdir->Mitsuo->Alan->Cornix; I'll let this run one more round of 'no goal' then have Auth have his speech.

Mitsuo released from his parents and awkwardly shifted on the spot.
"I think I may have to leave early," he spoke with his spoke failing him.

"Son," Arata started, "you're getting over emotional about this... again. You did every thing you could."

Mitsuo looked down at the floor, "I know. I still feel like I could have done more though..."
He paused for a moment, "I'm meant to be a soldier, right?"

Mitsuo's parent was confused at the question, "Yes?"
Cheryl replied, trying to keep her calm and loving tone.

"Right," he sighed, "but I didn't act like one."

Arata leaned in to talk to Mitsuo quietly, "and you're not acting like one now. Come on, Mits, straighten up."

At this remark, Mitsuo did so and lost all expression on his face. He turned to face the corpse of Adar once more and carried on like the whole conversation with his parents didn't happen.

Alan could see a familiar figure approach Auth. The dark blonde hair, the surprisingly towering figure - there was no doubt that Cora, too, has come to pay her respects to Adar. Alan, almost subconsciously, scouted the area to see if she has brought any of her companions over to the funeral. After a small and brief inspection, it seems like the answer was a 'no'. Alan was glad. They were fearsome, troubling people. At least, in his eyes.
A small part of Alan was relieved to see his friends around. They reminded Alan of happier times, adventures and stories and bonds. These were people that chose to befriend Alan, people who decided to trust him in one way or another. That cheered him up, even if for a bit.
It looked like Auth and Cora were conversing. Alan felt jealousy. Not because he had no one to talk to, but because he saw that Auth, even after all he's been through, was still able to talk, to carry on. How could Alan justify his self-pity, his silence of despair, when he who has suffered more than all has the strength to live? What right did the Military Policeman have to ignore his quest to help others because of his inner pain?
Alan felt the cold steel of the dagger given to him by Auth in his boot. It occurred to him how easily a knife like that could cut through his neck.
Alan shook his head, trying to thwart the despair. No thoughts like that, he pleaded please no more.
More and more people gathered around, rows and rows of mourners, of all corners of life. Alan spotted some of his Military Police superiors. Even Nile Dok, the Military Police Commander, has come, most likely as a formality, to honor the fall of his predecessor. But did these people grieve for the life that was lost, or for some other reason? Is it the sadness for their fallen friend, or was it the fear that even the greatest can fall?

Cora was not too sure anymore if it was a good idea that she went to Auth. She was a bit confused at him saying that it was not very friendly that she turned down his offer to sit closer to him because he was mourning. What. Why did you need to do everything for someone just because someone related to them died? What was the relevance? Yes, he died. But did Auth himself die due to that? No he did not, so why would she need to help him anyhow?

Maybe mourning was a bit like having people in your head, you want to get rid of feeling sad...and it does not work? It had no use, the longer she tried to understand everything, the more confused she got at the general situation. She would understand him being angry! Adar got killed atleast, but why...why was he sad? As in, why was he sad for longer than...maybe a few hours? That would not help him. It would just make everything worse, as it blocks you from thinking normally.

"Anyway. I really don't feel like... talking too much. Not now...So, how about you just do come closer - I promise I won't bite too hard - and you talk? And I listen?"

Auth suddenly spoke and brought her back to reality, out of her own thoughts. It came close to someone suddenly waking you up from a deep sleep by pouring ice cold water in your face, so all Cora was able to say was a shocked and too high pitched, "What."

Today really was confusing, first he said that he wanted to talk, now he suddenly did not want to talk anymore! It really was annoying that people died. Why did she have to talk now? She was not good at talking!

Cora blinked a few times, staring at him. "Talk.", she stopped, not realizing she said something, "I should...talk.", she shook her head, as if to sort her thoughts, "I-I-I don't know what to talk about!", she said a tad too loudly for a funeral.

Only now did she realize that he also invited her to get bitten. Wait. Get closer. Not bitten. Why...what...
"Why would you want to bite me? Is that some kind of funeral tradition I don't know?!", she was not sure about anything anymore, she had never really been to a funeral, and she hoped she did not miss any paragraph while reading about them.
"Or are you a...wolf...shifter...", she punched him lightly on the shoulder, "Stop confusing me."

Auth chuckled a bit more at Cora blabbering at his request. Of course she was not good with talking. it was, after all, the whole point of putting her to talk. And it did a marvelous job; the wolf-shifter thing was priceless. He prepared to answer, but soon realized the time.

10:25

In five minutes he'd have his speech. Damn. Auth stood up, quite slowly, but determined.

"Sorry, Cora, but we'll need to continue this some other time..." Whether you like it or not, Auth thought for himself. "I have to... hold a speech now... it would also be about time you go join the group..." With that, Auth really just started pacing towards the pyre. Cora would understand him for not explaining more.

In moments, he was near his mother. He closed his eyes. He didn't want to do this... not at all. She did not deserve it. She, the only person that truly did love his father for who he was, and not what he was. Auth sighed. Still, no matter what any of them wished for, it wouldn't be granted. He put a hand on his mother's shoulder.

She turned her head, very slowly, to face him. In her eyes was pain. So much pain it was unbearable even for Auth to really look her in the eyes. But she knew as well. Soon, she regained her composure, forcing herself upright and conforming to how society expected. Inside, she obviously was no better, but on the outside she could move. It would cost her psyche dearly, but she managed to. Auth looked at her with eyes that told her he understood. She gave him the same look. A silent sigh from both of them, and Auth turned towards the crowd, while she stepped - very hardly - away from the corpse.


10:30

Auth breathed in. Then out again. He closed his eyes. Usually, he'd have no problem with talking in public. He never did. Just... now it was different. The silence that was looming told him enough. And, he knew that the crowd didn't blame him for the silence either. This situation was one of the few where you'd be allowed problems with your speech. He opened his eyes, and started his speech with a heavy sight.

"We have gathered here to commemorate Adar vi Rauco, Ex-Captain of the Military Police" Auth took a small break. "A man whom many of you knew personally, and a man I called father. May all gods have mercy on his soul." Another sigh. Auth's face said more than enough about his lack of tears. He didn't cry simply because his eyes wouldn't do it, not because he wasn't feeling the emotions associated.

"It is customary to speak of the departed." Auth's speech as stereotypical. It was like any other funeral, like any other such event. But that wasn't his plan. "I do not think that is the righteous way. Instead, I'll do what my father wanted me to, and instead speak in his name." This, about his father wanting that, was on the one hand a complete lie - Adar never said such thing - but on the other hand it was the utter truth. Adar's wish was always that, and Auth knew it full well, without his father ever needing to tell him. "As such, for a moment, close your eyes, and in my place imagine my father. In place of my voice, imagine the voice of Captain Adar." Auth's voice was purposefully deeper, and very close to his father's. Now, it was time to talk the real speech.

"Anything fades with time..." Auth's voice was lowering as he talked, the last word barely whispered, faded. "But yet, there always will be more to come. With time, even death may die." Ominous. And tone-setting. Auth took a painful break of silence forcing contemplation. "Now, it was a mere human. A human higher than the others, a human more powerful and a human looked up to. A human that barely would seem so." Pause. "But human nonetheless."

"It is the fate of all humans to die. Some do sooner, some do later. There is nothing that we can do to fight it." The crowd, expecting comforting, was clearly not liking this. But nor did they have the courage to speak, for as frightening as it was, this sort of cold truth had strength to it. "And this, my brothers and my sisters, is why we need to live our lives while we have them!" Tone shifting, Auth was now talking very loud. "And this is why, to one individual's death, we much not break apart. We must not divide, and most of all..." The sounds lingered, words were being emphasized individually. "We. Must. Not. Fear!"

This was not a funeral speech. But if anything, it made more sense than any funeral speech ever would. Adar would never pass on in a plain manner, and this sort of event was precisely what he himself would've held, were he able to talk. But as he couldn't, Auth was speaking in his place. And during this speech, the two of them were the same person. Their thoughts would have been identical. Their voice already was. In Auth, Adar lived. And it became more and more apparent.

"Today, we mourn the death of but one victim. There will be more" Again, not comforting. But now, it was not scary either. "Men will fall, as the dice play out. But that means we need to fight all the more!" The crowd was already living and breathing the speech. They knew it was right. They felt it. "The titans have pushed us to live like livestock, to stay put and docile, and whomever raises against will be put down. They slay us as they wish" Hate was imbued in his words, and from his words it was imbued in the minds of the listeners. "Should we let them? Is this what we are? Cattle, the be bred and slain, and not even as food, but as mere entertainment?!" Already, disgusted sounds could be heard. The mere idea was intolerable.

"I think NOT!" Auth was yelling now. His father's command voice. His father's battlefield voice. It resounded all across the yard, and probably reached as far as to the guardsmen up on the nearby wall. "I say we show them we can fight! I say we gain our freedom back!" Auth's voice suddenly stopped, but was still tense. Silence loomed again, but it was the silence before the storm.

"And..." His voice was low, almost whispered. And in a lot of ways, almost mad. "If we think about it all..." His voice was indeed crooked, but it was not so in the way that made you run. No, it was that way that made you think alike. The way that captivated, and drew you in to his madness. And with the earlier speech, it all the more made you see it as mad, and in this madness, willfully join. "Death in battle... Is freedom. If we are to die to the last, but go down in a bloody crusade against this demonic enemy... We died free." He wasn't talking loud, but was more determined than ever. Not even his father ever managed to speak quite like this. No, the contagious madness was Auth's own.

"It is a choice we need to make: our lives, or our freedom? And I ask thee, what is life without freedom?" He knew nobody's mind could really answer. "If anything, it is nothing more than death. A slow, painful death of prolonged torture. Rather than devoid of freedom, dead is more soothing." Auth's voice wavered high and low, chaining word after word after word.

"To the loss of freedom" His voice grew louder, and took a breath in, forcing a slight pause. "Death is sweeter."

His mother handed Auth's a lit torch. Captivated by the speech, nobody had observed her light it, although now, it was the center of everyone's attention. The dancing flame, so very much alike the madness in Auth's words earlier. So captivating and so enchanting.

In moments, the torch was thrown onto Adar's pyre. Blaze went up immediately, as flammable fluid was covering the entirety of it. And in the light of this pillar of flame, embraced withing the fog, Auth's body had become a shadow, a shade from beyond talking such true madness. His voice lowered into a whisper, but such a crystal-clear one that it was flooded the entire yard, echoing in the minds of all who listened.




Auth slowly went down form the pseudo-podium he was on. Few were those who noticed, if any, as the dancing pillar of flame was captivating everyone's sight. And in doing that, all the more engraving Auth's words into their minds and souls. Everything was irrelevant, if freedom was lacking. Death was not something to fear. Not at the cost of sacrificing freedom. Madness, but in a righteous way.

The type of madness that was already embedding into everyone.

Mitsuo listened to every single word of the speech... and he agreed.
His back stiffened, his expression went from distant to serious. He would have saluted be he already did that and he didn't want to look like an idiot.
Although he was torn about how he acted on the night of the incident, in his defence he was off duty and off guard.

Mitsuo's parents also listened to every word of the speech. They where relieved that it had Mitsuo recomposed but they were also concerned as they couldn't tell what he was thinking right now.

Mitsuo had one thought on his mind. He needed to hit something... hard. He wasn't you to awkwardly leave the funeral now. That would seem disrespectful. The young Shimura will attend for the whole event but he will keep his one thought eating away at his brain; he might also let it motivate his actions for the rest of the day.
He collected himself, inhaled and exhaled, and focused on the event once again.

The glowing red eyes, the shattered glass and the pouring rain... the wide, larger-than-life grin... whenever Alan closed his eyes, even for a brief moment, they haunted him. That dreadful night was the first time he has ever encountered a titan, and it was every bit more scary than what he had imagined. How could he plan to go help the scouts? He felt, more than ever, like a fool. He couldn't do his current job well, and his future plans were also bleak. He wasn't ready to take on monsters like that. Not yet. He doubted he could even run away from the shock of seeing them.
Alan yearned for words, for external stimulation, someone to relieve him from his mind, his depressing slumber. Almost as if he'd heard him, Auth answered the call.
"We have gathered here to commemorate Adar vi Rauco, Ex-Captain of the Military Police..." Auth began his words, standing in front of the masses, almost as if he's protecting his father's remains from the horde of humans who have come to mourn him. His face spoke of pain, and suffering beyond compare. It was clear to see the whole speech was a bit difficult for Auth, despite mental preparations.
Alan's mind was thankful for the opportunity to distract itself from its own suffering by listening to another's, but was thrown off by one of Auth's statements.
"Instead, I'll do what my father wanted me to, and instead speak in his name."
Auth... or was it more correct to say Adar? 'He' began his monologue about the eternal, inescapable fate of everything. Alan was stunned just how quickly it felt as if Adar was talking to him, one final time, before departing. Even if it wasn't the exact voice, if felt like his voice, his articulation and wordplay. It was the voice of the man who spoke in Cora's trial, the very one where she left the military. It was the voice of the master of the house, the man who invited people from far and wide to a night of masquerading, drinking and feasting. Even if Alan's rationale spoke against it, it was the voice of the man he'd fought for that night. In a sense, the voice of the man who'd been responsible for all of it.
Alan's face slowly turned from an expression of sadness and despair to tension. In some way, he hadn't forgiven Adar yet. It obviously wasn't his fault that the attack happened, but he knew it would happen - he was prepared. The attacker had an old score to settle with the ex-Military Police commander, and Adar was not willing to go down without a fight. However, this was not a fight. This was a battle, where countless innocents have been killed. People were dead because of Adar's actions, much like Adar himself. Who gave him the right?
It wasn't...
Just.
Alan was growing more tense, only fueled by Adar's own voice - telling him to live his life, to not stay stuck in his own fears and despairs.
He agreed with every word - and yet, in a way, they almost made him feel more and more angry towards Adar. If Alan was to live, and accomplish his mission, it would require for the truth to be found out, for Adar to face justice, but that may never happen.
Adar then spoke of the war against the titans. How humanity must stay united, fearful, and beyond everything - fight on! Fight against their oppression, against the caging of their kind, to not let the human emotions stop humanity from taking the fight to its own hands! It was surreal to hear these words in a funeral, but they hit Alan at the right time. He could feel his despair fleeing, like shadows during a sunrise. It was them all along, who were responsible for all these circumstances - the titans. There was no place for him to feel his sadness and fear, his despair, when he felt so driven, so up to the task. He was going to choose his way of life, and this choice would be to help humanity in every way possible! When he thought about it, Alan realized it was always there, the grand concept that has been behind all of his motives, fears and habits - humanity and the titans!
Alan's eyes opened - perhaps they were open during the entire speech, captivated, but now they were truly open. Alan saw nothing but the silhouette of Adar, facing them ahead of the fire, almost as if saying goodbye one final time before leaving. In that moment, it was that Alan realized that both Auth and Adar were far greater people than him, people who weren't 'becoming' like him, but 'are' - united in their ambition, in their purpose. For them, life wasn't about becoming different things, it wasn't about the trivial, practical things of life. It was about ideals, about maintaining and keeping on in their way of life. Alan drew from that power, hoping to be there with them one day.
He looked at the fire, that was already starting to die out, turning the figure of Adar back into the grieving Auth. If Alan had last words to say to Adar, for him, this was the time to say them. Alan closed his eyes, and began:
Adar vi Rauco. Military Policeman. You have caused me much pain, but at the same time I draw inspiration from you. You showed the world the MPs didn't have to be lazy or corrupt, but good soldiers, with good and noble intentions. You were a natural leader, and strong and rich man. You had anything you could want, but worked hard regardless. A great man you were. And I forgive you for your actions.
I cannot promise you solace in the afterlife, nor that your wishes for this world will come true. What I can say is this - I will always be there to support those you care about, the Hydrargyrum and your family. I will fight for humanity, like you want us to do. I will strive to make the world a better place, better than what it is now, perhaps better than what people deserve. You have my word.
Goodbye, Adar.
Alan gave the departed a salute with one hand (he still needed one to support himself), and stared at the fire flickering.
May all men die respectable deaths like this one.

Cora was glad that Auth had to hold a speech, as long as someone else apart from her was talking she was most certainly (a bit of bad luck was always involved) not able to embarass herself.

Join the group was all that Cora wanted to hear. Continueing their discussion would be quite unpleasant for her. She just nodded and waited until he was with his mother. She stood up and walked a bit closer to the group. Cora did not want to stand directly next to them, it would not have fit, she was not part of the military and she barely even knew Adar.

Not really knowing what to do now, she just stood there. Her feet about 30cm away from each other, her hands behind her back. A position commonly seen with mercenaries.

Auth began his speech, she listened, mostly to make mental notes about how funerals are. Given the reaction of the crowd, it seemingly was not like the usual funeral speech. Bad luck for Cora, that Auth was holding it. He would, of course, make it different. She was not too sure about how funeral speeches normally were, but it seemed to fit Adar. Atleast, the image she got from the short time she knew him.

"Today, we mourn the death of but one victim. There will be more.", Cora was now fully captivated by his speech. He was right. Even though it did not really seem like the usual funeral speech you would hold. It was not what she expected. It was more like...a speech before a battle against the titans. Given how Adar died it fit.

She continued to listen, trying to make mental notes for the next time she had to motivate her own soldiers.

Motivating our soldiers, eh?

Nec noted. If he would be a real person, Cora would have tilted her head to ask what he wanted to say.

As great as his speech is. It works marvelously to motivate the usual...soldier. You are a mercenary, your soldiers are mercenaries. The one thing that should motivate you the most is money.
You know how I think...the one thing we get most motivated by is boredom.
I am fairly aware of that. You should still more motivate them with wanting to be better than the common garrison guard.
That was an insult.
Would still work. They have been mercenaries all their life long...we need to get our concept of how we want everything to work going...

Cora silently agreed and continued to listen.

As the pile of wood and the dead and rotting remains of Adar vi Rauco started burning, Cora saluted. The usual military salute. It felt weird doing it again, and she was not sure if it was alright of her to do that, but she stil did it.

She watched the flames, expressionless as she had already been the entire time.

Once the speech was done, Auth had went back to his bench, on the side. Watching the fire burn away at his father's corpse, he could feel two things, and two things only. And those, in perfect opposition.

First, it was the madness. To speak that way you had to be that way. The fervor of the battle, the quest of humankind. The battle against titans, and the rage at their tyranny. A red-hot blade, glowing in its heat, aching to be stabbed into the enemy. A tool of utter desolation, that told him to in that moment equip his gear and go to battle.

But second, it was the rationality. The side that knew how mad it all was, and the side that silently judged on how to use it. The part of his mind whose goal was victory, and would not care for the goal, but for the means. A flowing river of cold water, shifting and twisting across the landscape, not caring where it ends, but carving its path deeply.


And really, with a red-hot blade a cold water, the product was that much stronger.


It was now 11:00.

The fire finally burnt out. The fog was lifted. Only now, that the last ember died, have people shyly began chattering with each other, preparing to leave. Soon, the crowd would start to dwindle, but where scared and purposeless men were those who entered, the ones who were leaving were brave. They had purpose, and they had an objective.

For Auth, this meant more than just his success now. It was also his success for later, as every single person here would remember his speech, and attribute his persona - and in general the name vi Rauco - to the fight that can be won against the titans. This would in turn allow him to, while not as much lead said fight, at least make it truly happen. It was time to reel the force of the entire military into this battle, to cease the system that was and to put into place not a martial law; but instead, a martial ideology.

A Way of War, to fuel the battle against the titans, to retake the lost walls and to further strive beyond them. To finally win. And such a way of war would make the conquest not stop at Wall Maria. No, for it would generate the thirst for more, it would re-kindle that very human need, deeply embedded in the psyches of everyone, albeit dormant: the need for total dominance.

For the first time this day, Auth smiled honestly. And it was not a mere smile, but a grin bordering on sadism, a grin of utmost satisfaction. The future was open, yet well laid out in his mind. His father's death meant nothing. They all had yet to see the true wrath and power of a vi Rauco!

***

In the meantime, Peren of Hydrargyrum had entered the crowd as soon as it started dispersing. His goal was clear, and hard to miss: Alan. Said and done, he found him almost immediately.
But, nor did he linger. He told him to just wait, and to not leave, but instead take his time and join them as the masses left. Peren was an honest person, and such his face would not show accusation in the least. If Alan were to perceive it, it would have been his mind's fault and his mind's fault alone.

After all, even though he didn't know it, the Hydrargyrum did not blame anyone but themselves.

Mitsuo's parents started leaving, "I think I might stay a while," the young Shimura called after them.

Mitsuo took off his cloak and looked at it, gently stroking the fabric with his thumb. He has seen many deaths out in the field, 'so why is this one different?'
He thought about his question for a while until he concluded that it was because Adar was a powerful man.
'No one is immortal,' Mitsuo told himself in his mind, 'every passing second is a second you could die in, yet you increase the chances of death by risking your life for others. Why?'

Mitsuo's expression became distant as he started thinking about all the questions that were now coming to his mind, 'I risk my life for them because it's the right thing to do.'

'And you believe that?'
Alas a question that he could never answer. Whenever he believed in something, some sort of event would occur and change his mind. Mitsuo never had a fixed perception on morals. Maybe because of his emotions? He didn't believe that was the case.

Mitsuo looked around and noticed that there was nobody near him. He stood alone and awkward but for once it did not bother him.

He slowly approached Mrs. vi Rauco and, when she was not talking to anyone, simply said, "my condolences," before turning and walking away.

Mitsuo found a secluded area; a nearby bench that was placed under a lonely tree. He say down on it and gazed at the funeral location from the distance he now created. The morning lost its colour the more Mitsuo stared. Was it the weather, the event or him? He couldn't tell. He closed his eyes and listened to the silence that surrounded him.

Alan watched as the fire slowly died out, along with what remained of the late Military Policeman. Away from the ashes stepped away not Adar, but his son, Auth. From a distance, they could be mistaken to be the same. Not necessarily the same person, mind you, but the same 'vi Rauco' feel, the power and royalty, the elegance and precision of movement. Alan listened to the words of the crowd around him. They whispered quietly but excitedly of revolution, of determination and their will to fight back. Auth has managed to move the hearts of even the most fake of mourners. Alan was among the affected, of course, but he wandered how much of it was sincere. From his little time knowing personally the vi Rauco bloodline, Alan was surprised time and time again to see just how practical they were. They found use for everything, and for every thing that had use they found seven more uses. It was like their jack-of-all-trades signature. Alan grew more and more curious - what purpose did the speech serve, apart from saying goodbye to the departed. He wondered how long the crowd will remain vindicated. Above all, Alan wondered- what was Auth planning next?

He did not have long to wonder, however, because as soon as people started leaving, a dignified soldier approached him. Alan was not used to seeing him without his dark, armored getup, but it was clear that Peren, second in command of the Hydrargyrum, was coming for him. His face gave Alan an uneasy feeling - last time he saw him, it was amidst of all the chaos. Still, he was a man Alan respected, one that gave him hope when he needed it. Alan decided that despite his urge to run away, he will face Peren, as he must face the consequences of that night. He looked him in the face, steadfast. At last, Peren loomed over Alan, a powerful figure with a face that could have been carved out of stone.
It appeared that he wanted Alan to remain, and to come join him and his brethren-in-arms when he was ready. Before Alan could inquire about the nature of the request, he walked along and blended back into the crowd.

Alan was rational, and yet could not stop the flicker of fear in him. What is it that they wanted? Was it to interrogate him about what he knew? Perhaps make him face the consequences of failing them that night, of letting Adar die? Maybe it was a deeper, darker motive. Perhaps they wished to dispose of him for one reason or another? Alan's mind raced with possibilities, none of them particularly comforting. However, in the end he decided that whatever awaits him, he will face it brave and willingly. Just like Adar had faced his own death.
Before that, however, there were other matters to attend to.

The crowd was dispersing quicker and quicker. It seemed that for obvious reason people did not want to linger in the fields of the dead. Besides, they had their own lives to attend to - families, duties, survival. Alan was glad that the world kept turning, despite all the madness.
He first approached the lady vi Rauco. Her eyes spoke of a deep pain, even if she seemed distracted and comforted by those around her. Alan managed to keep eye contact with her when he spoke. "I truly am sorry," he said "...for everything."
With those words, Alan turned and stumbled his way over to Auth. He hoped the lady understood his meaning, not only as a sign of condolences, of share of grief. He also meant it as a personal apology, for not being able to save her husband, despite all the trust she put in him. He did not wish for her forgiveness - he doubted anyone could truly forgive for events like that, because forgiving would mean acceptance, which is hard to come by.
When Alan finally reached his friend, he felt unsure for a brief moment - what was he going to say? That he feels his pain, shares the loss of an admired mentor figure? That he is sorry beyond words for the failure of not being good enough to stop the madness? That his words have inspired him so, have pulled him out of his lingering despair? That in his own crazy way, Auth managed to give Alan meaning?
"S-sorry..." was all that he managed. He stared at Auth, embarrassed, face blushing slightly. Way to go, Unicorn.
Alan wanted to get up and run, but knew he couldn't. His friend, his comrade, his secret-bearer, was grieving. Even if he couldn't muster the words to explain how sorrowful he was, he hoped his presence could help signify his feelings. He kept looking at Auth with a sympathetic expression, one that said, in a way, 'I understand you'. Of course, Alan didn't know just how little he knew. He never did.

Cora continued standing there for a while, still saluting, not moving. She realized that people were leaving but did not make the slightest attempt to move away. At some point she stopped, moved her arms behind her back again and watch the rest of the fire burn down. Not fully, it was a huge fire after all, but for quite a long while.

She would have moved if she knew what to do, but she did not. She did not want to walk to Auth's mother, only people able to help her somehow should walk towards her, or people that had to say something. Cora did not. She did not know Adar or Auth too well. She did not even know Auth had a mother until this day! Well some part knew, everyone has a mother...but...Auth did somehow more seem like he...just...came to be.  

At some point she saw a familiar figure walking towards his mother. It was Alan. He seemed quite frail compared to usual, and usually he was already quite frail. Cora did not really know in detail what happened, she just knew 'titan' and that was it. Asking now would be incredibly dumb, so she would probably never get to know it. It's not like she minded too much however.

Her eyes followed Alan walking up to Auth. He suddenly turned slightly red. What the hell did he say to him?

Nec and Vex, esspecially the latter, started suggesting what he could have said. All of them seemed incredibly ridiculous and very unlikely. Or...she observed Alan again. Maybe...maybe they made some sense. She stopped looking at him to get them away from trying to find weird reasons why he wanted to talk to Auth.

Seeminly Cora had a hard time trying to stay serious. She sighed and walked closer towards the fire, keeping her fair distance as not to disturb Sangwa. Cora stared at the fire until her eyes were so used to the brightness, that she could not see properly anymore if she would look away.

As Alan approached, Auth very quickly wiped the grin off of his face. As much as they were friends, this little bit would've been too much for the Unicorn. Instead, he turned it into a soft smile, one that had no apparent intent, but that did show a weak, frail tranquility of mind.

He heard Alan apologize quietly, then be embarrassed at it. He probably had much more to say, but did not manage anything. Understandable, really. And then he heard the Unicorn say he understood him. Well... that was more peculiar. Alan did not quite understand him. Yet.

"Thank you, Alan" Auth looked up towards him, and gestured that he can sit should he want to. "Although... I'm reacting to all this differently than you'd assume, you know..." And, preemptively to what Alan would naturally think. "But that's not due to my relationship with my father or anything. In fact, I am pretty sure you think this all affects me more than it really does."

Auth looked up towards the sky. He could not tell Alan that all his mind thought of now was the war, and how to pull the strings to make it happen. But he could tell Alan how he got his mind to here. "I guess it's just the way my head works. I mourned my father already, and the deed has been done. We should pray for the living, not for the dead."

Auth looked at Alan again, pretty aware he was snatching the entire discussion. That being said, the Unicorn was probably appreciating the fact he wouldn't need to talk. "So... my mind is much less concerned about my father right now, than it is about making sure nobody else's father will get the same to him." Pause. "Of course, that is impossible. But we can make it so that, eventually, the generations that come to be will look at history, see us and the titans, and of all this as myths and fairy-tales."

"That is what I want, Alan. I want humans to reign supreme, to not fear any beast or any foe. I want the titans dead to the last." He stopped again, and looked Alan in the very eyes. "Say, are you with me in this? Or do I need to try harder to convince you?" Because, Auth thought, I'm not letting you not join in. You're much too valuable an asset to simply pass on.


In the meantime, while waiting for Alan's answer, Auth's mind lingered over Cora and the fire. It was... peculiar, just how similar she looked to his mother earlier. He wondered if she was aware of it. Most likely not. And most likely the reasons were different. Regardless, though, the result was the same. He smiled at that. And, moreover, had to wonder whether or not his mother would go talk to her due to it. She might have, seeing her as someone who had no use of petty words, and would speak as felt. Which, in his mother's opinion, would have certainly been a breather from the rest of the people here.

Auth sighed. His poor mother... All of this funeral would really scar her mind. It was just not... right... to force someone in mourning to this much social act. But it's how it all was. You had to just be there and accept everyone tell you they're sorry for you and all. Some were even honest, but it didn't make any difference. All it did was assure you that it happened, and remind you time and time and time again of how bad it all was. And, really, when you're mourning, that's exactly what you need, right? Being told everything is horrible. As if you didn't know.

Mitsuo sighed, he had lost track of the time and did not have his watch on him.
"I should pay respects to the son," he spied Auth from where he sat but noticed Alan approach said vi Rauco, "I'll do that later, when he's free."

Mitsuo pondered. He did not know why he had remained as many others left. He concluded it was the speech. Something about that speech struck Mitsuo.
"Death is sweeter," he found him self repeating the phrase, "death is sweeter?"
He scoffed, "how is it? To die by the hands of monsters? Monsters that made us cage ourselves? I'd rather die by my own hands. I'd rather be the monster that kills me..."

Mitsuo trailed off, staring at the fire that slowly became embers.
"It's funny. I've only seen fires to be used for warmth and comfort. An uncontrollable force that has potential to kill us yet we keep it tamed. There's also funerals like this one," Mitsuo raised a hand toward the body of Adar to show his point, "where we use fire to carry the deceased to wherever the they go next. Maybe that's why it's used. To comfort them and keep them warm on they journey. Quite... sad."

He got up and started heading over Auth slowly, trying to make sure he spends enough time so that Alan would hopefully leave.
"Titans are similar to fire. They are an uncontrollable force that has potential to kill us. They have proved that. Yet I think we can tame them. Tame them by removing them from the face of the planet. And if there are more out there... if more come, then they too will be erased."

For a second, a glint of murderous intent appeared in Mitsuo's eyes.
Inside, a spark ignited and instantly became a blood red flame. This flame that now burned inside Mitsuo roared and flickered constantly.
This flame has his wrath for the Titans, his pride for humanity, his motivation and sacrifice of reason.
Mitsuo now realised the job had to be done, no matter the means.

//OOC: Herdir, Alan didn't actually end up saying 'I understand you'. Might want to edit your previous post.
Also, sorry for being away for so long. You know how it is.

Alan was surprised by Auth's sheer vindication and determined mindset. He was almost drawn to it, like a moth to a bright light. However, he also felt the danger. It wasn't a stable determination. It felt overwhelming, one that takes its toll on those involved. One that leads to recklessness, to terrible things if left unattended. Alan was worried for Auth - not for his safety, but for him doing something he may regret later on.
Alan was also glad to hear that Auth has already started getting over his father's death pretty well, far faster than anticipated. Once again he could not help but admire the young vi Rauco, only a few years his elder. Alan had doubts that he could be half as determined or effective as Auth when he will be his age.

Then Auth confronted Alan about his quest to rid the titans, to let humanity reign supreme and without fear. Alan didn't give an answer instantly. Instead, he pondered Auth's offer. Titans are terrible, murderous creatures. However, according to some recordings, they were better than humans is some regards. They did not harm animals, or their own kind. This is very unlike the humans, who even during their greatest oppression could not help but punish the weak, and squabble amongst themselves. With the titans gone, and with humanity finally free to do as it wills - what will it do? Alan had doubts that it would be perfect - far from it. Still, he had a hard time picturing a reality worse than the one he was living through right now.

After a few more moments of pondering, he finally spoke. "I can't say I'm too optimistic about the whole thing," he muttered, looking lost in thought "But if it means that people will be able to live safer lives, then I, too, share your aspiration. I doubt we will be able to eradicate the titans, but if thinning down their numbers let humanity rest a little easier at night, then it is something that we should strive to do."
Alan then started to mumble "I, er, don't think I could be much help there, though. Talking is nice and all, but I doubt I could take on titans. Not yet, at least. They are..." Alan's voice trailed off, his mind once again dwelling on the night of the death of Adar. The large titan with the glowing eyes, the smile, the roar... Alan could not help but shudder thinking about it. He never wanted to see that again. He hoped he'd never have to.

Despite the rather harsh and dark topic of conversation, Alan was glad to stop thinking about his despair, and instead dwell on things he considered important. It seemed that coming to the funeral was good idea after all, that it helped him with his own sadness somehow. Still, he had responsibilities to uphold. Alan looked over his shoulder, and sure enough, the soldiers of the Hydrargyrum were still standing in a small crowd nearby, quietly paying respects to their fallen leader. Alan felt he shouldn't keep Peren waiting, but it would be rude to leave Auth right now. He felt that them talking was helpful for both of them in some way. Alan then turned back to Auth, and re-adjusted his glasses.

Cora was now just staring at the remains of the fire, it would take a few hours until it was cold. She stopped looking at it and just looked at the sky, which now seemed black to her with a few brighter spots. It would probably take her a good ten minutes to see normally again. Maybe longer. Why did she do that again?

She sighed quietly and started just staring somewhere, basically just keeping her eyes fixated on no point in the distance. After a while she just stopped, looking at the fire again and bowed. It somehow seemed more fit for her, as a mercenary leader, to do that. The military salute was one thing, she did it to honour him as a great man of the military police, right now she just said good bye, as a soldier to another soldier.

"Well then...Adar...I hope...you are alright whereever you might be", she said quietly but still hearable, "This is my first funeral, I am sorry for everything I did wrong. Well...", she stopped talking, "See you then...when I am dead.", she chuckled and turned around to leave.

She was not really sure if it was alright to talk to the dead, but given that she talked with herself...it was hopefully acceptable. If not, well then, she already did say sorry for everything she did wrong, talking to Adar included.

Cora slowly walked away from the fire past the Hydrargyrum. As she passed them she nodded as a form of greeting and showing respect. While walking away she realized that she had not a single idea what she should do now. Should she stay? Not really, she could have stayed at the fire as well then. Should she go to Auth? Cora turned around to look at him, nope, still busy with Alan.

Vex chuckled.

She sighed at his dumbness. She observed Alan a bit closer, he was a funny guy, in her opinion.

Oh! Mitsuo! He is here as well!
Are you serious? Of course he would be here...who is NOT here?!
Right.
Always right.
I know, we are right handed after all.
Dude.

Mitsuo seemed quite deep in thoughts as well. Apart from that, same as before, she could not just walk back there now. It would be incredibly awkward. So awkward, even Cora considered it awkward. So she just stayed there, it was probably not not awkward either, but less than before. Alteast that's what she hoped.

Cora looked down on the floor and started watching a few ants carrying away dead insects. Another dead one. Even though the ants would end up eating it, not burning it. She started wondering how weird funerals would be if you ate the dead person instead of burning it. Atleast she would have something to do then, not just stand here and watch ants. She looked at the fireplace again, but...she was not too sure if she would have wanted to eat Adar. Or anyone for that matter.

//OOC: Thanks Alan for pointing that little bit out. Edited it, although it's not much different.

Auth gazed intently at Alan while he pondered the offer. Obviously, more than just self-preservation was currently going into it, but what exactly, Auth couldn't tell. He wasn't a mind reader, despite what most people were probably tempted to think. Not like he minded.

Eventually, Alan's answer came by. Seemingly, self-preservation instinct, or, in layman's terms, fear, was part of it. But a quite irrelevant part. Auth leaned back, somewhat more relaxed than before.

"Alan, it's not about fighting titans yourself. To ask a single man for physical, battle help is... inefficient... even if it were a much more skilled soldier than anyone alive." Auth fully meant his words. He'd need Alan not for battle, but for planning it all out, and for putting in the strings that were to be pulled. "You're important due to various other factors, most important of which your intellectual ability and status in the military. Or anyway, your future status if you keep along the path you've already undertaken."

"You'll see what I mean quite soon, hopefully. There will be some political pawns to move, and we should be able to start a proper crusade against the titans. Optimistically, it should start in about a month. Realistically, more like three or four." Auth had his plan quite well set in his mind at this point. It would really be a huge legal struggle of passing a number of controversial laws, but it was an inevitable success. Worst that could happen was the delay of it all.

And, well, Severin. That was a potential threat to them too, so he had to find a way to deal with that too.


Auth smiled. It was almost scary, how easy his mind forsook his father as soon as it had something else to think of. Maybe he never really loved his father, or maybe his father taught him too well to not linger on the past. Auth couldn't care less. After all, regardless of the reason, what mattered was that his mind worked at full capacity, and without being clogged down. Did it make him an emotionless, mechanically efficient thinking machine? Perhaps so. Did that make him sub-human, or super-human? Irrelevant. What mattered was the product, not the cause, in this particular case.

In a split second, Auth realized he just sat perfectly silent for quite a few long seconds. "Anyway... Peren wanted you to talk to him, although I'm sure he already told you. I'm perfectly all right, so I don't mind you having to leave. Especially if someone else needs you." Auth did his best to make it not seem like a 'go away'. It wasn't meant as one, but it was tricky to tell that to someone nonetheless.


***


Auth's mother, Sangwa vi Rauco, quietly approached Cora. That was not to say she didn't move quite quickly, just that she did so quietly and as hard to observe as possible. Her goal was to escape from all of the grief that was reinforced time and time again upon her. To do that, she had to seem busy, and as such she had to find someone to talk to. Talking to someone about her husband, or the funeral, or any of that, would obviously defeat the point of trying to seem busy. Thus, she needed someone silent and unattached.

Ergo, Cora.

Sangwa knew of her somewhat, due to the whole deal with her being kicked out of the military, but that was about it. Anyway, plenty to start a conversation on. Especially knowing she was the type to not feel emotion. She put a hand on the side of her arm, softly.

"Cora, am I correct?" She did not wait for the answer, as she knew it already. It was just hard-wired politeness. "I am Sangwa, but I don't think there's any need for that being said. Can I just... talk to you for a bit here?" And, leaning in, while also lowering her voice. "I really need someone to talk to so that all of those other..." Short pause. It was easy enough to understand what she meant by that blank spot in her sentence. "...will leave me alone with all of their being sorry and condolences and all. I'm sick of it all."